Are You Giving Your Clit the Attention It Deserves? - Par Femme

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by Par Femme

Hello! Today, we’re here today to talk about your clit, a.k.a the only organ in the human body that exists purely for pleasure.  

Packed with a cool 8,000 nerve endings, stimulating the clitoris happens to be the best way to reach orgasm for many women. Despite it being no secret that clitoral stimulation can lead to transcendental orgasms, it sure feels that way sometimes. Whether it’s because we aren’t taking the time to get to know our clitorises during masturbation or they are being overlooked in favour of vaginal penetration with a male sexual partner, the clit can often go unnoticed. A lifetime of having one will tell you that this is not OK. 

As will science. 

A recent sample study titled ‘Women's Experiences With Genital Touching, Sexual Pleasure, and Orgasm’ confirmed that those in possession of a clitoris really enjoy having it touched during sex. Researchers involved in the study polled 1,055 women with clitorises aged 18 to 94, quizzing them on sexual pleasure, orgasm and genital touching. The majority of the women surveyed were straight, as confirmed by OMGYes, while 5% identified as bisexual, 1.6% as gay or lesbian, 0.6% as asexual and 0.7% as other. 

According to the results, 18.4% of women surveyed said they can orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone, while 36.6% said clitoral stimulation is necessary for orgasm. Another 36% said they can orgasm through intercourse alone, but it feels better when they have clitoral stimulation. The research also looked at exactly what kind of clitoral stimulation women like, with the following infographic from OMGYes breaking that info down in a very accessible way:



A common fallacy is that the clitoris is only external. Asthis 3D model shows, the clitoris also includes two shafts (crura) which are each 10cm long. In other words, the external ‘clit’ as we know it is just the tip of the pleasure iceberg. The inner labia is fully connected to the inside parts of the clitoris, so stimulating the inner labia can help arousal by helping to draw blood to the area. This will in turn help to engorge and stimulate the clitoris in a more indirect way. 

If going straight for the clitoris feels too intense, start with the inner labia to “wake up” the clitoris by drawing blood to it. The more blood-filled the clitoris becomes, the more responsive it will be and the better it will feel. Slow down and take the time to focus all your attention on the genital area—this will put your body in a relaxed state, which allows your body to become aroused so you can have better and more intense orgasms. If things move too quickly, it can feel intense and then that’s it. Building slowly can lead to explosive orgasms and minimises chances of overstimulation and numbness. 


One of the best ways to find out what patterns and pressures are most pleasurable for you is to masturbate. And frequently! Your inbuilt self-pleasure tools, aka your fingers, are great for this. If you are looking for something a little more powerful to assist you, the following clit-friendly toys are a good place to start.

We Vibe Touch
The old school toy has a pointy end with four speeds and four pulsations. Its vibration frequency is really good. Like, reallygood. The sculpted shape sets it apart from a regular bullet, allowing you to hold it in the palm of your hand to place on the vulva. Depending on how you hold it, you can stimulate both the entry of the vagina and the clitoris. Purchase here.

Dame Pom
The Pom is great for pinpointed stimulation, not just clitoral stimulation. It can stimulate the whole vulva, including the labia and the entry of the vagina. The Pom isn’t intended for penetration, just for stimulation of the outside parts of the vulva. Purchase here.

Je Joue Bullet
The Je Joue bullet is a traditional bullet that pinpoints stimulation. It’s a great vibrator for beginners—small, unintimidating and easy to use. With five speeds and seven patterns, there’s sure to be something there to cater to your specific needs. Purchase here.

Dame Fin
The Fin is a very direct clitoral stimulator. It’s especially good for older women who struggle with finger strength and who might have trouble holding things due to arthritis. The band that wraps around your two fingers helps to hold the vibrator securely in place. The Fin can also be used to vibrate the fingers to use around the vulva for soft skin-to-skin stimulation. Purchase here.


Photography by artist Scientwehst. Like her stuff? Follow her on Instagram and read our interview with her here.


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