Reviewing vibrators, I’m always cautious that I don’t get swept away and think the newest one in my collection is my favourite (this also applies to dates). What this means in practice is a very scientific comparison study, evaluating the features, the shape, the boring stuff like charging. For the most part I’m impressed, but not really surprised anymore. Until I met We-Vibe’s wearable toy: Moxie.
I’m not usually one for bells and whistles, but Moxie is showing me a real good time. The petite toy sits flush against your lady parts, with powerful magnets holding it in place in your knickers. It’s made from body-safe silicone, with a velvety hand feel. You can tuck it closer for more potent stimulation, or adjust it for a gentle, all-over reverberation. The first spin, armed with a remote control, got it done—a few clicks to the right changed the mode, a few clicks up revved the motor.
But, it wasn’t until I read the fine print and discovered the accompanying app that things got really interesting. A few sly swipes control the pulse patterns, the intensity, the speed—and reduce your likelihood of early-onset RSI. Pairing to the app is also a dream—download it from the Apple Store or Google Play, hit the ‘pair device’ option and hold down the control button on your Moxie. Bluetooth takes care of the rest.
That’s not all, though. The Moxie, like any vibrator, comes with its own preset pulse patterns, courtesy of whatever dream lab conjured it up. But my favourite app feature lets you draw your own patterns, set the loop length and the starting intensity. More importantly, you can name your customised orgasms, and if your fantasy life is anywhere on the ‘rich’ to ‘wildly inappropriate’ spectrum, I can assure you this is just fun as the solo sex. Some naming inspiration: Too-brief flings, that person who smiled at you on the train that one time, Idris Elba, the hot priest from Fleabag. Move over, Bandersnatch. Choose-your-own-adventure has never been so hot.
Not that it has to be solo. The Moxie’s other big selling point is the ‘Connect Lover’ feature, where your fate is in somebody else’s hands. Use the app to send a link to your designated driver, et voila—they can power what’s going on in your knickers from across the globe. Or, you know, the next room.
The Moxie leans rumbly rather than pinpoint, is 100% waterproof, and gets two hours of play from a single 90-minute charge. The USB charging cable sticks on by magnetic points, with a glowing light that flashes as it charges and stops when it’s done. It comes with a storage pouch and a spare magnet in case you get a little too rowdy with the first one. It also has that rare, special thing: a sense of humour. Or maybe I’m just giving a wearable too much credit.
No matter your relationship status, you can purchase a Moxie for yourself here.
Tabitha Laffernis is a writer based in Sydney, Australia. Her short fiction has been published in Flapperhouse, Hobart, and Gigantic Sequins. You can keep tabs on her work here.