On this week’s episode of IN TUNE WITH, we speak with the talented Kira Puru about the difference between toxic attachments and deep loving connections, the unparalleled enjoyment that comes from truly knowing your own mind and body, and the sex advice she’d give her younger self. Get to know her below, then do yourself a big (HUGE!) favour by playing her latest song,Idiot, on repeat.
Maddy Woon: Can you give us the Kira Puru elevator pitch (i.e. who are you, and what do you do?)
Kira Puru: I’m Kira Puru; musician, photographer, full-time stress-head. Jack of many trades, CEO of too much information. My two quests in life are to remain as tender and vulnerable as possible, and to become filthy rich... or maybe to destroy capitalism, whatever happens first.
What does sensuality mean to you?
Hmmm. I am surprised at how little I’ve thought about this. It isn’t especially sexual to me now that I think about it. For me, sensuality is about being gentle and present in your body and drawing in feelings of warmth and appreciation for it/yourself. I feel like it kinda sits with one foot in and one foot out of the material world. Sensuality is, like, using the pleasures of the physical realm to access a higher, elevated self. I swear I’m not as hippy as that makes me sound.
How do you keep your mind stimulated?
Honestly I am mostly occupied with how to slow it down. I’m blessed with a pretty high key general anxiety that keeps my mind occupied all day long. It's helpful for me to find more meditative things that keep my mind focused, I usually get drawn to things in seasons, so I’ll obsess over one thing for a period and then move on to the next new thing. In the past, these things have been: writing, photography, reading, design, collage, cleaning, singing and making music, cooking, watching tv. At the moment I’m loving jigsaw puzzles, listening to instrumental music, and designing merch for my friends.
And your body?
I go in and out of practicing yoga frequently. I find it hard to practice daily. At the moment I like taking long morning walks or bike rides.
What do you appreciate most about your body?
It’s pretty strong.
What was your creative process when writing Idiot?
I’ve been working with a new producer friend and he likes to present me with beats and I just write whatever the music makes me feel. When Idiot was written, I was in a bit of a mess with an ex I still loved dearly. The notion of deep, loving connection versus toxic attachment was very present in my mind that day.
Outside of making music, how do you spend your time?
I’m a real homebody at the moment. I like to spend hours on my own relaxing, making, being peaceful and constructive. Chipping away at whatever needs doing.
How would you describe your music in five words?
Audacious, honest, vibrant, irreverent, fun.
Do you think music has the power to change the world?
Absolutely. It has already and will continue to.
Par Femme is all about pleasure, sensuality and empowerment. How has your relationship with these things changed over time? Why do you think these things have been taboo subjects, for women especially?
For a long time, women have existed purely in context to men. As mothers, carers, objects of passion and desire. I don’t really feel like we were entitled to consider our own pleasure and empowerment independently of men until recently… and really, the world still kinda pushes back on this. For me personally, I guess my family allowed me to feel like I could pursue these things, and that I was entitled to feel good and strong in myself. I feel pretty blessed for this. There’s so much that’s been hard and messy in my life but thankfully I’ve always felt quite driven to feel a sense of confidence and empowerment in myself. In terms of pleasure and sensuality, well, I love those things and since my adolescence, have enjoyed learning more about my mind and body.
What has been your own personal journey with sex toys? Do you use them? Do you have a favourite toy?
I didn’t own any until about three years ago when a friend gave me a little lipstick vibe as a birthday gift. I was fresh out of a relo and super depressed so I used it relentlessly until it died. I have always been able to orgasm pretty easily, so I don’t often use toys because I am often trying to prolong my experience when I’m with a partner, but if I’m sad and/or need a perfunctory orgasm for, like, a pick me up, I’ll use it. I have had sex with same sex and trans partners before and toys can be really helpful in a more logistical sense in those scenarios. I don’t have any particular aversion to toys at all, I even worked in a sex store for a while, but I have always been pretty satisfied with a more au natural sex experience.
Why is self-pleasure important?
We spend a lot of time feeling stressed, anxious, critical, and caught up in the world around us. It’s important to find time to be present in your body and give yourself the gift of touch and pleasure when you can. I think it’s really rewarding and healing to celebrate yourself.
What do you wish you’d learned in sex education at school?
I wish there was more sex education in general in schools, and more attention given to other more practical aspects of sex, beyond the bio stuff. I could have really used more practical tips on how to deal with consent, and literally all young men could have also.
What sex/love advice would you give your younger self?
The love you are chasing, and the only kind that really matters, has to come from yourself. Spend time learning to love yourself and everything else will come easily in time.